Fear, Faith and Tea

I’ve always loved to work. I am blessed with a very strong work ethic and drive for success. I enjoy the feeling of being productive, creative and well organized. I am also a natural born teacher. I’ve taught group exercise classes since I was fourteen years old. But that was never enough for me – I remember thinking that I couldn’t possibly spend my entire life inside a gym! I needed to prove to myself that I could be a successful business woman who used her brain to contribute to humankind. I wanted to make a difference in the lives of those around me, so I worked, I served, I contributed, I made money, and I achieved success.  And now, that is not enough for me.  Now, all I want to do is teach yoga!!!

Immediately upon teaching my first yoga class in early 2010, I’ve wanted to spend all my time devoted to the teachings of yoga, to the inner exploration of spirit, breath, health and possibility. This thought – being a full time yoga teacher – simultaneously brings me so much joy and a ton of fear.  Fear of putting myself out there, of being vulnerable and perhaps being laughed at or judged. Fear of not being able to pay the mortgage. Fear of not being good enough or desired enough as a teacher. And, of course, fear of failing.  All my old stories come up screaming in my face, “How dare you? Who do you think you are? You’re not _______ enough to do that (you can pretty much fill in any word you can think of here – I seem to have them all).” The fear tirade goes on and on, ending with a big old flashback memory of the first time I left home and was met with the words, “Ha-ha-ha, I’d like to see you try to make it on your own. You’re gonna come running back. You have no idea what you’re doing.”  

I didn’t have any idea what I was doing then, but I had faith that I would figure things out. I made it on my own.  I didn’t ask for any help, and I didn’t go back until I had the sweet smile of success on my face. So the question is, can I do it again now…thirty years later? I say YES! Rather than letting fear win and allowing sadness, anger and regret to take over (which I believe would eventually manifest physically) I would make a plan to make this transformation a reality. Practicing and teaching yoga has helped me realize the extreme value in having a teacher’s guidance and support, and in that spirit I hired a coaching team.

I signed up for Justin Michael Williams and Karen Mozes’ Yoga Business Retreat and continued with them privately for a few more sessions after the retreat. The experience of working with Justin and Karen has been extraordinary (as was the tea we shared along the way)! Their individual and combined expertise, love and care has helped me move through my fears, uncover my blind spots and create a plan for success. One tangible result of our work together, which I am so excited to share with you, is my new website:  www.AllynCioban.com!

I embark on this next phase of life, not knowing exactly what it will look like, but having faith that by being true to myself, doors will open and the path will be revealed. I trust that by following my spiritual heart and the inspiration within, along with a willingness to ask for and accept assistance when feeling stuck or stopped, I will find happiness, deep satisfaction and success. As I humbly journey through my old stories, move through my fears, and practice yoga and pranayama to release that negative energy, my goal is to share authentically with the hope of inspiring another on a similar path of self-inquiry, self-acceptance and self-mastery. Together, let’s move toward stillness though movement, one-ness through breath and self-love through awareness and faith.